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Sometimes my students wonder if they are too old for converting to Judaism? Is there a maximum age limit? Is there a point to converting after a certain age? After all, so many of our traditions and public celebrations revolve around babies, Bar Mitzvah kids, and newlyweds. And synagogues quite visibly bend over backwards to attract young families, not older members. This happens even though (or perhaps because) synagogue members tend to be older.

Maybe you’re considering taking steps to become Jewish, but you’re worried: There’s so much to learn…Is it too late to start?

I wanted to share with you something that happened yesterday that was very special to me. It was a unique day, even though the circumstances are less and less rare.

Inspiring People, Starting “Late”

Yesterday I had the privilege of sitting on the beit din (rabbinic court) for the conversion of two holy souls who became Jewish.

Now, I’m not sure what the average age is of someone who converts to Judaism. I was about 25 years old (24 and three-quarters, as my youngest daughter might say). And for whatever reason, we think the typical person who converts is someone in their 20s, maybe early 30s, who wants to convert right before they get married, because of family pressures being exerted on their significant other, a la Fiddler on the Roof.

Whatever the average age is, these two were above average. I’m bad at guessing ages, but I can tell you that one guy was there with his wife of 30-some years and their two adult children, both in their 20s. The other woman was accompanied by her grown daughter and three grandchildren.

And I’ve seen older. A good friend of mine converted in her seventies. Another man converted who finally felt ready after living a Jewish life with his partner of over 40 years.

But I have to say, in the words of Bachman-Turner Overdrive: You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

Abraham: Original Convert, Senior Citizen

When God decided to start a special relationship with a particular human family and make a covenant with Abraham that would radically change the course of human history, Abraham (then Abram) was 75 years old. We consider Abraham to be the first Jewish “convert” because he wasn’t born Jewish.

Want to top that? Part of the deal was that Abraham would have innumerable progeny. Even though he and his wife had no children yet (she was only 65).

Later, when God heard the cry of Abraham’s great-great-grandchildren, buckling under the weight of forced labor and genocide in Egypt, God picked a leader to shepherd them out, through the wilderness and into the Promised Land.

Born Jewish, but a “Late” Bloomer

Actually, God picked a literal shepherd, but he was a second-career shepherd. That guy had kind of fallen into the shepherd game, working for his father-in-law. His first career? Prince of Egypt. But he’d had to leave town to beat a manslaughter rap.

And when God picked this guy to start his third and final career, his life’s masterwork for which he would be most famous, how old was he?

Moses was 80 years old.

And he did pretty well for himself (and us, and God) after that.

My Personal “Late Start” Hero

One more example: Not so old, but he kind of started from behind. And also a shepherd. And my personal hero.

This shepherd was around 40 years old when one day he wandered into a cave. He was probably chasing a lost sheep, kind of how another shepherd we know discovered a burning bush (see above). And he was distracted because he couldn’t stop thinking about his beloved, who had told him there was no way her father would let her marry him, a lowly shepherd, unless he became either a wealthy businessman like her father, or else a famous scholar. Both seemed unlikely, as this poor 40-year-old shepherd was totally illiterate.

But instead of a bush, he saw a flat rock with a hole in the middle of it. There was water dripping from the ceiling of the cave through the hole. Now, our shepherd couldn’t read a single letter, but he was familiar with nature, and knew that it was the water dripping from the ceiling that had made that hole in the rock over a number of years.

And in that moment he had an epiphany: If water, which is soft, can penetrate rock, which is hard…surely the words of Torah, which are strong as iron, can penetrate my heart of flesh and blood.

Old School

Next, thing we know, Akiva (that’s his name) is sitting among kindergarten-age kids, learning the first few letters of the alphabet. Fast forward through a 1980s-movie-style training montage (a la Karate Kid) and career-building montage (a la…Scarface? Not the best example.), and our friend Akiva is now Rabbi Akiva, one of the most influential Sages of the Talmud, who some say had 24,000 students at one point.

All this from a standing start at age 40 as an illiterate shepherd. At least Moses had had management training in Egypt.

This story has always inspired me to keep going in my second (and final) career as a rabbi. But I have to say, that inspiration pales next to two moments at the mikveh yesterday, where first I heard a man blessed by his grown sons as he immersed, and later, I heard a grandmother say the Shema for the first time as a Jew.

Still think it’s too late for you to start?

Hero, wherever you are on your path, and whatever next step is hovering in front of you – but perhaps just on the other side of the particular fear that it might be too late for you – remember my friends from yesterday. Remember Abraham. Remember Moses. Remember Rabbi Akiva. All “late bloomers” who changed the world.

Who knows what change might be in store for you, just waiting for you to get started, no matter what age you’re starting from?

My advice: No matter how many candles are on your cake, blow them out (take 2 tries and have 3 friends help, if you need) and take that first step.

Thanks for reading, Hero. If you’re considering becoming Jewish – or you already are but you want to engage more deeply – is age or some other consideration standing in your way? What frustrating you most on your journey? Please let me know in the comments below.

PS…If you want to find people of all ages (not to mention time zones) who’ve faced similar challenges and are ready to support you on your journey, consider joining The Jewcurious School. In addition to new live classes every week (and recordings of all prior classes), I bet you will find Jewcurious people just like you to share your path.

Today is International Holocaust Remembrance Day. It marks the symbolic end of the Holocaust on January 27, 1945, when Red Army liberated the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration/death camp in Poland.

On this day we remember not only the 6 million Jews who died at the hands of the Nazis; we also remember around 6 million more the Nazis murdered: Slavs, ethnic Poles, Romani (also known as Roma or Gypsies), mentally and physically disabled people, and gay men.

The United Nations designated this day of commemoration in 2005. This followed the lead of several European countries which had already marked this date as a national day of remembrance.

How is International Holocaust Remembrance Day different from Yom HaShoah?

International Holocaust Remembrance Day is a civil day of commemoration in many countries, marked ever January 27th by the Gregorian calendar. Yom HaShoah, on the other hand, is a Jewish holiday.  The State of Israel designated the 27th of the month of Nisan by the Jewish calendar for Yom HaShoah. Yom HaShoah honors not only the victims of the Holocaust, but also resistance fighters, such as those who fought in the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising in 1943.

How does a someone who converted to Judaism connect with the Holocaust?

I was eleven years old when I first met someone who wa in Auschwitz at the time of its liberation, a woman named Edith Bell. She and her husband Sid were friends of my parents. theirs was probably the only Jewish family in the small town in West Virginia where we lived at the time. They were also the first Jewish people I ever remember meeting. Edith would occasionally speak at the local college, telling her personal story of survival as a young girl.

Since then, I have had the privilege of meeting many more survivors and hearing their stories – in private, during school programs, and at big public events. If I can make a suggestion / ask a favor, Hero: If you ever have the opportunity to listen to a survivor of the Holocaust speak, please take advantage of it.

First, I can tell you from personal experience and the experience of my friends and students: Hearing about the Holocaust from someone who was there is an experience you will not regret, nor ever likely forget.

Second, with the passage of time, we have fewer and fewer survivors left every year, and this is a story that must not die with the generation of people who lived through it.

The most recent time I heard the story of a survivor was just a few weeks ago.  A guest speaker came the Miller Introduction to Judaism class I was teaching. Whenever possible, the Miller program arranges for a survivor to speak to the class on night we discuss the Holocaust and antisemitism. I had heard several survivors speak over the years, but this one had a unique effect on me.

One Woman’s Personal Account

Before our speaker, Paula Lebovics, arrived, I asked my students what questions they had about the topic before class began, to make sure we cover all of the questions over the course of the evening. One student asked: “What do we say to people who question or deny that the Holocaust ever happened?”

(If you haven’t yet encountered a Holocaust denier, either online or in person, count yourself lucky.)

I wrote the question on the board, hoping by the end of the evening, my students would have their answer.

Then Paula joined us to share her story. She was among the young women who were present when the Red Army liberated the camp. By that day of liberation, Auschwitz was nearly deserted; the Germans knew the Russians were coming, and 10 days before the liberation, German soldiers evacuated most of the prisoners on foot in harsh winter conditions, in effect creating a death march. Many of the prisoners left behind were children who had been singled out by Dr. Josef Mengele for medical experimentation. German soldiers clearing the camp had ignored that ward of children in the evacuation.

These children remained in the camp without access to food or warm clothing; what supplies hadn’t been looted by evacuating soldiers, or set fire to, were on the far side of electrified fences. Only when Red Army soldiers cut the power to the fences could Paula and children like her eat for the first time in days.

What Changed for Me

But what struck me more than the end of her story was its beginning. Paula was six when the Nazi regime took hold of her Polish town; being dispossessed and harassed for being Jewish was almost all she ever knew to that point. She told of an incident that happened shortly before being sent to a concentration camp. A German soldier had found her hiding, and he ordered her at gunpoint to show her where others were hiding. When she couldn’t help him, he ordered her to turn around so he could shoot her. Knowing what would happen, she refused, trembling and crying all the while. At a critical moment, another soldier, drunk, shouted at him something like, “Don’t waste the bullet! She’ll be dead soon anyway.”

Like I said, I’ve heard moving stories from survivors before, but this time it was different. At the moment she was almost shot, she was only nine years old.

The same age as my daughter.

At that moment in Paula’s story, I imagined my own daughter trembling and crying, fearing for her life. For the rest of the evening, in every description of what had happened to Paula, I pictured my daughter enduring it. All for the “crime” of being born Jewish, as my daughter was.

I don’t know that I will ever hear a survivor’s story the same way again.

How to Answer the Deniers

After Paula left, I pointed at the whiteboard on which I’d written students’ questions in the beginning of class. Specifically, I indicated the question, “What do we say to Holocaust deniers?”

My answer: Everyone here tonight can now say, “I wasn’t there, but I know someone who was.”

We have fewer and fewer people left who carry this story. But now, everyone who has heard it bears a responsibility. We are responsible for keeping these stories alive, beyond the lives of the witnesses, for as long as we live. We are now the witnesses, and it’s up to us to pass that responsibility to future generations as well.

Thanks for reading, Hero. You may see other messages, headlines, or stories about International Holocaust Remembrance Day today. I urge you to take in what you can, and bear witness when you must. And if you ever get the chance to hear a survivor speak, please hear their story, and carry it forward to future generations.

Have you heard: Judaism has 613 commandments. 613!

A lot of students I’ve worked with get stressed out by this. How am I going to keep ALL of them?!

I know how stressful this feels, because once I felt it, too. Then my rabbi helped me to chill out.

613 Commandments, for real.

Rabbi Alexander Davis was my rabbi when I lived in Minnesota, before I moved to California to go to seminary. (Of course, I still consider him my rabbi!) He explained to me that yes, when the Sages of our tradition sat down and counted all the “thou shalts” (positive commandments) and “thou shalt nots” (negative commandments) in the Torah, they came up with 613 of them.

There are a couple of medieval books that list and explain all of them. These books give some of the reasons behind them as well. They are the Sefer HaMitzvot (Maimonides) and the Sefer HaHinukh (author unknown).

But…

Don’t panic.

Our Sages deduced long ago that Jews cannot observe many of them today, so there’s no expectation for keeping them, and no judgment or punishment for breaking them. These include many of the agricultural laws, like not eating the fruit of trees for the first few years of the tree’s life, which occasioned the recent holiday of tu BiShvat, because the Torah prefaces that rule by saying “When you enter the land (Israel)…”

The Sages don’t expect you to observe these agricultural laws outside of the land of Israel.

Jackpot!

Of course, you may set aside some of the yield of your work (whether your a farmer or an accountant or whatever) for the poor if you wish, and we still celebrate Tu BiShvat to remind us of abundance in Israel and our responsibility for stewardship of the environment. Still good to do!

Further, many laws have to do with procedures in courts of law. Our Sages deduced that Jews could only observe them when the Sanhedrin, a holy law court in the classical era, was convening. No Sanhedrin, no expectation to keep these particular procedural commandments.

My rabbi summed it up like this: Don’t worry about keeping all 613. Do what you can as you grow into them, one by one. The most religious person you know is good for 30 or 40 of them. 🙂

Baby steps, y’all…

I teach this to my students today, with an addition bit of advice: The ones you DO plan to keep, don’t try to do it all at once. You will get overwhelmed, judge yourself, give up…and wind up keeping (or benefitting from) none of them.

It’s better to take the mitzvot one by one and grow gradually.

In my personal experience and my observation of others, this is the surest way to success in keeping commandments, AND experience the most meaning in your life from keeping them.

ESPECIALLY when it comes to Shabbat and Kashrut (the rules of keeping kosher)…These are complex exercises in mindfulness with a LOT of rules. The best way: Start small, where you are now, and add one rule or aspect of observance at a time.

If you’d like to know more about our mitzvot and how to do them, I highly recommend you join us in The Jewcurious School. If you’re not ready for that, consider downloading the “3 Things” guide by clicking the picture below. You’ll get a guide to the best approach to adding mitzvot to your life, and you’ll stay in the loop as I teach the basics online every day.